i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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