I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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