I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I smell like Dick and happiness
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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