New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize