do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
