Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My life is pants optional.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
