next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
