Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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