How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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