he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
