i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
