2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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