I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
