You can't motorboat a personality
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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