I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
