I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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