Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
