i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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