So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
