I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
