how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
