It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I smell stomach acid.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
