you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
