have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
