Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize