I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
