once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
