im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We're too hungover to prance.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
