He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
