i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
