i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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