Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
