and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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