i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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