im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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