I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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