he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
