real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize