We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
