I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
