Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
