i think i have herpe
just one?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
