It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
