Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
