maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
