Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
