Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
