i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
