I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The ass gains better be worth it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
