Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
operation harelip BJ is a go
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
