Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
