Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
