So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
