What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
