I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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