I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
