I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
