Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
