last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
