my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
