Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
