New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
