i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
